The Most Common Myths About Foster Care and Adoption

Foster care and adoption from foster care are often misunderstood, resulting in some children never finding a permanent home or forever family. We’ve identified some of the most common myths about foster care and adopting from foster care below along with their realities:

Myth: I have to be married, wealthy and own my own home in order to foster or adopt. Reality: People from all types of backgrounds can foster or adopt a child. Whether you are single or married, own or rent your home, have children already or don’t, work full-time or stay at home, you may be eligible. Adoptive and foster parents DO have to complete free training classes, be at least 21 years of age, pass background checks, and be able to provide a loving and stable home for a child or children who have potentially experienced abuse or neglect.

Myth: I have to be a stay-at-home parent. Reality: Parents can continue to work full-time jobs and use childcare options. It is no different than caring for a biological child.

Myth: I have to have children and parenting experience. Reality: There are many foster parents who do not have biological children of their own; however, they are mature, responsible people who have made a commitment to care for a child and demonstrate the ability to parent or a desire to learn parenting skills.

Myth: Children in foster care have experienced trauma that is beyond repair. I won’t be able to help them. Reality: It is incredible what a structured environment and support system can do for a child. Foster and adoptive parents have the ability to positively impact a child who has experienced trauma, teach them healthy coping skills and help them grow into a thriving individual.

Myth: Kids in foster care are “bad kids” and will rebel in my home. Reality: Kids in foster care have experienced unthinkable rejection. They’ve been neglected or abused by those who are supposed to love them unconditionally. This trauma can, and often does, manifest itself in bad behavior. But bad behavior resulting from trauma is not a reflection of the child, nor is it irreversible. With the right relationships, understanding of trauma, and guidance, these kids can do amazing things.

Myth: My children are grown and out of the house. I am too old to foster a child. Reality: The only age requirement is that you must be at least 21 years of age. Many “empty nesters” find foster parenting to be a rewarding experience.

Myth: Once I take in a foster child, I’m on my own without any help. Reality: Children need stability and agency staff offer foster parents plenty of support to maintain an even keel.

Myth: I won’t have a choice in regards to the type of children who get placed in my home, whether they’re perfectly healthy or have a disability that I might not be able to handle. Reality: You have control over which children are placed in your home. You can choose the age range, gender, and special needs that you are comfortable attending to. However, if you broaden your parameters, you will receive a placement faster.

Myth: I can’t be a foster parent because I would get too attached. It would be too hard for me to see them leave. Reality: It’s true — you will get attached, and it will be painful to watch the child you love leave. But these children have suffered through things that no child should ever face and they need the love and care that foster parents provide when they open their hearts and homes.

Don’t let these common myths stop you from opening your heart and your homes to foster children in need. These kids are looking for a safe and secure place to feel loved, wanted and valued.

You just might be the person to change their lives for the better.